


Why is it so hard to look? (Reader X Jaebum)

by KagamiTaigar



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, GOT7 - Freeform, Light Angst, POV Female Character, POV First Person, POV Male Character, POV Second Person, Points of View, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagamiTaigar/pseuds/KagamiTaigar
Summary: "Why is it so hard for us? When love isn't that difficult?"POV of Reader and Jaebum





	Why is it so hard to look? (Reader X Jaebum)

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! Wow it's been so long since i've actually posted on here. I just wanted to say i am soooooooo sorry for not updating in the longest time. I was actually finishing up my last year of highschool and had two hard AP classes that i needed to pass. I was also getting things situated for college but now i'm back for hopefully a longer time!
> 
> I will try my hardest not to fall into writer's block!
> 
> If it helps i have the next chapter of Beyond Infinite planned so please read up on it so your caught up when i release chapter 6!
> 
> Please don't be afraid to leave feedback or ask questions! Thanks for clinking and I hope you enjoy!

# You

 _So why won’t you look at me?_

Days go by as I watch you grow. You changed your group of friends. You changed your hair. 

Your clothes. 

Your body. 

Your attitude. 

The more I noticed you the more I realize that the person I considered a friend is now a man of interest. A man worth my heart. A man that I’ve slowly fallen for. 

You see me. But you don’t **_SEE_** me. 

We talked. 

We laughed. 

The hours we spent talking to one another is something worth bragging about. 

At first my friends would always asked “You like him don’t you?” and I simply would tell myself “no?”. That’s not possible. Why would I like **you**? Of all the people I could chose. Of all the people I could fall for why would I fall for the guy who was just a friend? But that’s the problem…. 

_You were **just** a friend._

A friend I spent 2 years with. A friend I knew inside and out. A friend that when others would bother you, you would turn to me and complain, only for me to do the same thing that person did to you and you’d be ok with it. 

That girl who touched your hair? No matter how straight of a face you had I **knew** you were pissed. And it was funny. **No**. It was **hilarious**. Because I knew. No one else. I felt...special. There was so many people you could of put your trust into and yet you chose me. I didn't need all of your attention. I just enjoyed your company. I could care less who you talked to. You could of went and spent the whole day talking to a girl and i wouldn’t even blink. Because we were just friends. 

_You were **just** a friend._

And I was **just** a friend too. Despite the fact that the day I moved into my new apartment and you stayed up from 3 in the afternoon to 2 the next morning talking to me only to fall asleep.  
We were just friends. 

Even when all our other friends were gone and it was just us two in the crowd. Even when you talked about your favorite thing and you leaned in close and looked me in the eyes. Even when I felt the warmth of your smile and the passion in your voice when you spoke. Even when in the crowd of people it felt like we were the only two people in the room. 

_We were **just** friends._

There were days I spent laying in bed, doing my own thing, and you’d popped up in my head. It was weird honestly but I just guessed it was because we had talked earlier that day. 

Like _friends_ usually do. 

I was confused when I dreamt of you for the first time. We were dating and you treated me like a girlfriend. Something i had never considered being of yours. But I brushed it off since that happens sometimes. Sometimes _friends_ appear in other _friends_ dreams. 

But it wasn’t until that day. 

Where instead of talking to me...you...talked to someone else. I mean of course your friends with other girls. That’s fine. I could care less. But...then you started to leave me for that friend, at least, that’s what it felt like...maybe….Which is fine. You don’t **have** to hang out with me all the time. But the less we talked the more I realized that I didn’t like you….

….I loved _you_ …..

….I _**still** love you_ ….

…..so…

…. _why won’t you look at me?_

_Friend?_

 

# Jaebum

  
_Why am I so scared to look at you?_

I spent a lot of time residing in the same place. I hated it. So I decided to change. I changed my friend group. Changed my hair. 

My clothes.

My body. 

My attitude. 

The more I changed. The more girl’s started to take notice. Now they too started to change. Now I'm someone they all want to hang out with. But not **you**. You stayed the same. 

We talked. 

We laughed. 

I try hard to play it cool how many hours we talked to each other. 

At first my friends always asked “You like her don’t you?” and I would just brush it off as a joke. Why would I like **you**? You were just one of the guys. 

There were plenty of other girls that I hung around. Why would I fall for a friend that was one with the guys? But that’s the problem….. 

_You were **just** a friend._

A friend I spent 2 years with. A friend who knew me inside and out. A friend that when others would bother me I would turn to you and complain, only for you to do the same thing that person did and I’d be ok with it. That girl who touched my hair? I tried to keep a straight face but I knew well enough that you were the only person who knew I was pissed. And it was funny. Because **you** knew. **You** did. No one else. You were...special…. 

No I didn’t have to explain myself to you but I did because It felt natural. I wanted to tell you. You really could care less who I talked to. You could care less if I went and spent the whole day talking to another girl. So telling you didn't feel like a chore. Because we were just friends. 

_You were **just** a friend._

And I was **just** a friend too. When I heard that you moved into a new apartment I decided to text you and some how we ended up texting from 3 in the afternoon to 2 the next morning till I fell asleep. Which I apologized for the next day only for us to text all day all over again. We were just friends. 

Even when all our other friends were gone and it was just us two in the crowd. Even when I talked about my favorite thing and we leaned in close and you looked me in the eyes. Even when I felt the warmth of your smile and the true interest in your face. Even when I saw how diligent you were with listening to me ramble on despite the fact that you may not like that topic. Even when in the crowd of people it felt like we were the only two people in the room. 

_We were **just** friends._

There was days I spent writing lyrics, mixing a new track, and you popped up into my head. It was weird but i just guessed it was because we had talked earlier that day about someone we both found annoying. 

Like _friends_ usually do. 

I was confused when I dreamt of you. We were dating and you were my girlfriend. I held you in my arms as we cuddled. I stared at your lips craving to give them a kiss. But I brushed it off since that happens sometimes. Sometimes _friends_ appear in other _friends_ dreams. 

It wasn’t until I finally thought about it. 

How I really felt about you. 

That instead of talking to you...I talked to someone else. I mean of course you know I’m friends with other girls. You’ve always been fine with that. I know you could care less. That’s something you’ve always preached about….But...then I started to push you away for that friend. Which was an ass move. I don’t have to hang out with you all the time. But the less we talked the more I realized that I didn't like you….

…..I loved _you_ …..

…….I _**still** love you_ ….

…...so…

….. _Why am I so scared to look at you?_

.... _Friend_ ….

**Author's Note:**

> Was it good? Oh god i'm super rusty! This story was actually heavily inspired by something i went through with a guy i had fallen for. Sadly he didn't look my way.
> 
> This may not be my best but this definitely came from the heart since it's something i wrote while feeling lonely and trying to understand myself. 
> 
> But all is well! I promise i'm not super sad as it's been months and i'm over it anyways but i thought it'd make a nice short story!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed. If there are any mistakes or if you enjoyed it or anything i highly appreciate feedback and you are also welcome to ask questions. Love you all!


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